About four years ago, my hubby and I emigrated to Germany as a result of a great job opportunity. Of course, that didn’t happen overnight and before we even decided to move and leave the life we knew up till that moment in time behind, we sat down and wrote down the pro’s and cons. When you feel stuck, no matter what you’re worrying about, writing down what is keeping your brain-threads twirling, can be a way to create clarity.
However, as soon as you write down your wish-list, or even your bucket-list, it is possible you discover your initial wishes aren’t resembling your current desires at all. It could throw you off-balance, you might start doubting yourself, or worse…you decide to just ignore your worries, don’t make changes at all and well, keep feeling stuck.
As I wrote earlier this week, reaching out to someone who can help you is always a good option. Another way is to write down who you were, are now and if those roles still feel comfortable. Most important when doing this:
Be honest with yourself.
To give you an example how this works: I have been a social pedagogic, a management assistant, an animal therapist, a counselor. Today, I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a packleader to our dog, a writer/blogger. To figure out if any of these roles still feel fitting to me, I pay attention to my gut-reaction both mental as physical.
Being a management assistant again, the first thought popping up in my head: ‘Nope’. Relationships are always an ongoing process, but I know for sure, I am still happily married. I still feel a comforting warm feeling inside, when I think of my hubby.
Going through this process for each role, it will provide me an answer to not only if I am still happy with who I am today, but also who I would like to be in the (nearby) future. The next step is researching, if what I would like to be is a realistic possibility. Do I have the right skills, enough resources available, can I get where I want to be by education, etc.
Listen to your body, feel your gut-reaction and don’t be afraid to listen to your initial thought. Unraveling your twisted brain-threads is, to me, only possible if you are completely honest with yourself.
I think this is a very valuable practice Patty and that we should all do it periodically. I like to think of it as keeping current with who I really am. I’m always changing, hopefully growing and expanding – we all are – and every aspect of my life should reflect that, not something that no longer fits me. It can be hard to be honest with ourselves sometimes, but really, how does it serve us not to be?
Indeed, go point to Deborah. Do this regularly, might even prevent ‘becoming stuck’. And yes, it isn’t easy sometimes, but we need to dare to be vulnerable, at the very least to/for ourselves.
Thank you for connecting again, dear Deborah. XxX
I just read something similar about how to decide which path you should take. This is great advice Patty!
Thank you, dear Katherin 🙂 XxX
Very good advice, Patty!
Thank you Marie