A little over two years ago, I wrote an article about unhappiness and that it is OK to be it, every now and then. Back then, it seemed to become a new trend: someone stating to be unhappy or even depressed. Today, I’m republishing a large part of that article, updated it here and there, to remind you: it is OK to be unhappy once in a while…
Real disease
Don’t get me wrong, it is not my intention to minimize the struggles many of our neighbors have to go through each day. On the contrary!
Mental illness, is a real disease. It will affect a person’s life, including the people closest to him or her. Hence, it will take over a person completely. Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, because how I see it: People with this condition don’t wake up one day and decide to be mentally ill.
I therefore recommend to be open, for instance, about not feeling adequate enough or feeling alone. As I wrote in my article about depression; when you can’t find your way out of the darkness, you should reach out to someone.
Difference
However, there is a difference between mental illness and unhappiness:
To only focus on the positive, on being happy all the time, I believe is unhealthy. It is denying your limitations, it is not accepting your flaws. It means not embracing ALL of you and that will lead to never be able to love yourself; for the unique Beautiful Soul you are. It is OK to have a bad day, to worry every now and then, to feel insecure about a choice you’ve made. When you lose someone close to you, it is normal to grieve, to feel sad.
It is OK, to be unhappy every now and then
To me, it is also perfectly normal, you deal with that in your own unique way. It could help to go for a walk to clear your head, listen to your favorite music for a few hours, sleep an extra hour during the day, relieve your troubled soul with creating a piece of art, practice your favorite sport, treat yourself with a huge ice-cream, talk to your best friend… Whatever helps to Boost Your Soul.
As I wrote above: mental illness is a real disease. Being unhappy on a DAILY base, for a LONG period of time isn’t something you (should) choose. It is not a condition easily cured with a walk in the forest, or a happy song. If you suspect you have succumb to this, take it serious.
Unhappiness on the other hand, should not be taken too lightly either. Take a sick day if needed, force yourself to take a step back for a short period of time, breathe, relax. Whatever feels good to you, as the unique person you are. Treat it for what it is: a warning sign from your body to re-energize.
Trend
In 2018, I was really concerned depression became some kind of new trend. Today I worry, with all the effects of the pandemic, on top of already existing issues globally, many of our neighbors will slip into the darkness. Two years ago I wrote, unhappiness should not have to become the next trend. Today, I am asking you to take good care of yourself. Take good care of your beloved ones. Be kind to your neighbors.
It’s OK to be unhappy every once and a while. Now more as before, absolutely understandable. Reach out if you feel alone, isolated, stuck, misunderstood. Life can be harsh and we can’t always choose what happens to us, around us. What we can choose is how to deal with, respond to Life’s road blocks. Let’s choose a healthy trend…
Be kind, be compassionate.
To Life, to Others, to Yourself.
11 Responses
lovely post! hi Patty 🙂
Thanks, da-AL ! Hugs, XxX
I always wonder what is unhappiness?
Does unhappiness has to do with the fact we can’t can’t find satisfaction in many thinks ore do we like to turn life the way we think it has to be?
Do we use the word too often and far too easy these days?
I agree depression is a mental illness but doesn’t come from nothing, we are not born with depressions. It take a long time to findout where the depression comes from and the result depends on the dialog between the psycholog and patiënt and her surrouding. If the surrounding is not accepting the depression as an illness the patiënt will have big troubles to overcome the depresssion is my experience in life.
Sometimes we didn’t solve all in our life, we thought we solved it but by getting elder and maybe looking the death in the eyes it might come back witch might make the period we get Alzheimer havy for ourself without being aware. Also the surrouding will not be aware and dicribe depression away on nasty Alzheimer behaviour. We have to learn to be aware that even the eldest generation have their troubles but didn’t had the help and possibilities we have nowadays.
Indeed, depression doesn’t come from nothing. Besides emotional unbalance, chemical physical unbalance, per example, could also be a cause. First step…find out if you’re physically healthy. Once that’s clear, start taking control of your emotions/thoughts. With or without help, depending on your individual needs.
Thanks for the insightful response, dear Joyce. XxX
hello Patty, there doesn’t seem to be a follow button. how to follow your wonderful blog?
Hi dear Parneet. Thank you for the big compliment and wanting to stay connected. In my overview it shows, you are already following me. Notifications should come in your WordPress feed/reader? Another option is to subscribe via email. Hope that answers your question? Warm regards, Patty
🙂☺Maybe I shouldn’t have told you how unsavvy I am with IT😅😊😊
You’re not the only one 😉 And happy to assist, if needed! Have a wonderful day, XxX
🙂
Nice post here Patty. I find that some people confuse unhappiness for depression, and to be honest, they are not one and the same thing. They are not even close at all. However like you said, it is not up to us to tell people that their concerns are not valid. To some people, their unhappiness can get really bad. Unhappiness in itself is not a good thing, so we need to be compassionate. I think at moments like that, it is best to indulge in self care i.e. soothing cup of tea, a funny movie, walk in the park, or similar things. Another good habit is to talk to friends at this time. Things that lighten up a person’s mood. If the unhappiness is persistent and would not go away, then the root cause has to be identified and dealt with, a wellness coach should be able to help in that regard. Another great person to talk to is God. God is our creator and he loves us dearly. He is always with us and he would love for us to connect to him in prayer and learn about him through the Bible. God has already made the effort to know us, he wants us to now know him. If we seek him in truth, then we will find him. At unhappy times, it pays to pray to God and to let him know how we are feeling, our heavenly father loves us, and he wants us to build a relationship with him.
God says in Isaiah 41:10
“So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”.
To anyone interested, if you want more information on how to connect with God, I have a post on it here:
https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/2018/08/29/how-to-build-a-relationship-with-god/
You can check out the blog post above. If the information is too overwhelming for you, then you can start slow and work your way up gradually. If you want to stay updated and you want more posts from me, you can follow my blog. I post about God, faith and Christian Spirituality.
If you ever feel lonely or If you ever need to talk, then you can send me a message on the “Contact” section of my page.
May God’s blessing be with you, Amen. 🙂
Thank you for Connecting and your thoroughly response. Happiness and thus also unhappiness is one of many, many human emotions. We have a choice how to go about these emotions, times of suffering, etc.
In my home and thus also my virtual home, I welcome all, even of different belief-system like religious ones. As long as they don’t try to convert me 😉
So for readers who believe in God as describe in the comment above, feel free to connect with the commenter. This is my ‘religion’:
If God did or does exist, this would be my God. Not God, not Einstein, not Spinoza: the message in itself is divine:
When Einstein gave lectures at U.S. universities, the recurring question that students asked him most was:
– Do you believe in God?
And he always answered:
– I believe in the God of Spinoza.
Baruch de Spinoza was a Dutch philosopher considered one of the great rationalists of 17th century philosophy, along with Descartes.
(Spinoza) : God would say:
Stop praying.
What I want you to do is go out into the world and enjoy your life. I want you to sing, have fun and enjoy everything I’ve made for you.
Stop going into those dark, cold temples that you built yourself and saying they are my house. My house is in the mountains, in the woods, rivers, lakes, beaches. That’s where I live and there I express my love for you.
Stop blaming me for your miserable life; I never told you there was anything wrong with you or that you were a sinner, or that your sexuality was a bad thing. Sex is a gift I have given you and with which you can express your love, your ecstasy, your joy. So don’t blame me for everything they made you believe.
Stop reading alleged sacred scriptures that have nothing to do with me. If you can’t read me in a sunrise, in a landscape, in the look of your friends, in your son’s eyes… ➤ you will find me in no book!
Stop asking me “will you tell me how to do my job?” Stop being so scared of me. I do not judge you or criticize you, nor get angry, or bothered. I am pure love.
Stop asking for forgiveness, there’s nothing to forgive. If I made you… I filled you with passions, limitations, pleasures, feelings, needs, inconsistencies… free will. How can I blame you if you respond to something I put in you? How can I punish you for being the way you are, if I’m the one who made you? Do you think I could create a place to burn all my children who behave badly for the rest of eternity? What kind of god would do that?
Respect your peers and don’t do what you don’t want for yourself. All I ask is that you pay attention in your life, that alertness is your guide.
My beloved, this life is not a test, not a step on the way, not a rehearsal, nor a prelude to paradise. This life is the only thing here and now and it is all you need.
I have set you absolutely free, no prizes or punishments, no sins or virtues, no one carries a marker, no one keeps a record.
You are absolutely free to create in your life. Heaven or hell.
➤ I can’t tell you if there’s anything after this life but I can give you a tip. Live as if there is not. As if this is your only chance to enjoy, to love, to exist.
So, if there’s nothing after, then you will have enjoyed the opportunity I gave you. And if there is, rest assured that I won’t ask if you behaved right or wrong, I’ll ask. Did you like it? Did you have fun? What did you enjoy the most? What did you learn?…
Stop believing in me; believing is assuming, guessing, imagining. I don’t want you to believe in me, I want you to believe in you. I want you to feel me in you when you kiss your beloved, when you tuck in your little girl, when you caress your dog, when you bathe in the sea.
Stop praising me, what kind of egomaniac God do you think I am?
I’m bored being praised. I’m tired of being thanked. Feeling grateful? Prove it by taking care of yourself, your health, your relationships, the world. Express your joy! That’s the way to praise me.
Stop complicating things and repeating as a parakeet what you’ve been taught about me.
What do you need more miracles for? So many explanations?
The only thing for sure is that you are here, that you are alive, that this world is full of wonders.
– Spinoza