Learning about Positive Psychology in the past, I always thought something was missing. I even started to feel a bit nauseous reading texts in which the authors emphasize to only focus on the positive, instead of the negative, or that you should surround yourself with positiveness and you will automatically become happy. At the same time, apparently, you should also be authentic, avoid confrontations and ditch people who disagree with you.
Fortunately, I am not the only one who has questioned this take on Positive Psychology. Studies, books, information on the internet (*) containing similar views like mine confirmed my way of thinking and helped me Boost my Soul.
What’s good for me, isn’t automatically good for you and vice versa.
As I regularly write, we are all unique individuals and what is good for me, isn’t always good for you and vice versa. Yes, we should dare to be our beautiful, unique and thus authentic selves. That does not mean, we should be so independent (autonomous) to a point we distance ourselves from being fully interconnected with the world around us. It is in our nature to thrive better surrounded by other living creatures. Encircling yourself with people who are positive all the time and live day-by-day however, is in my eyes not a healthy way of authentic living.
Which brings me back to Positive Psychology. Avoiding to live truly authentic by only focusing on the positives, I believe you try to avoid confrontations, you are afraid to fail, hence, you are afraid of life itself. In addition, it is impossible to be constantly positive, we just are not happy campers all the time. Ignoring life is finite and we humans have limitations, is setting yourself up for a life full of frustration.
For instance, a disagreement can be very constructive, help you reconsider and/or form your own ideas, or even confirm your feelings about a person and thus give you more clarity. Of course, when someone hurts you to your core, doesn’t allow you to be your beautiful unique self, I too would avoid such a person.
Difference is our strength.
However, accepting we are not all similar minded and at the same time could have similar qualities, interests, ideas…it’s being more authentic and positive then it may seem. Embracing your own limitations, at the same time those of others, can lead to a more positive relationship with people in your inner-circle and even with your neighbors on our big Dreampack.
When you embrace all of you, your positives and your limitations, it will be easier to be positive in and about life, since, well…you don’t have to hide anything and no longer feel the need to suppress who you truly are: a beautiful unique soul.
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(*) More info about Existential Well-Being: click