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We all judge, let’s accept it

Whether we like it or not, we all judge. Personally, I figured, we better start to accept that fact. At the same time,  I believe it is wise to reflect upon the fairness of the judgements we make.

Instinct

Just like emotions have a good and a bad function, I believe that is true when it comes to judgements too. A part of nature, being animals, we still possess the natural instinct to judge if a situation is dangerous. Which is definitely a good function, else we wouldn’t realize fire could damage us seriously.

Last week there were horrific floods in the area where I live, as well as in neighboring countries. My emotions ran wild, from worry to sadness. Some people did not even have had the time to assess the threatening situation and lost their homes or worse, their lives. Fortunately, many people are compassionate and when in danger, support one and another as much as possible.

Hard decisions

During those same days, I learned that people decided to go on holiday trips, alongside  flooded areas. Which meant they had to travel through the areas while devastating events took place. I did judge their decision. To me, I thought (and still think) it was irresponsible and even immoral. Their reasoning: they payed for their stay in advance and they could always turn around if the situation got too dangerous.

Of course, I do realize, due to the pandemic, hotels and other accommodations need the income more than ever. Still, it just doesn’t sit right with me. Those travelers did put their selves in unnecessary danger, while they still had time to cancel. In addition, the holiday accommodations could be (and still can be) very useful for all the people who have lost their houses. 

It is never easy to make hard decisions.

Accepting our judgmental side

While I could never enjoy a holiday trip in such a troubled area, I would have taken my loss of money, I am aware it was not my decision to make. However, it got me thinking about the judgmental species we have become. Not the necessary part, the good side, out of instinct to estimate and thus judge a dangerous situation or even behavior. 

I am referring to the bad judgmental side we all possess. And maybe worse: we even developed a sort of scorecard. The people in above described situation got a few negative points added on my card. The fact that being judgmental is an outcome of the conscious we developed, and therefore it is part of us humans, I think we have to accept it.

Fair judgements

Besides staying aware of the right we have to have different opinions, I think it is also wise to reflect more on the judgements we make. When we judge without seeking to understand the behavior, choices, beliefs, etc. of those we judge, we might even cross a line and discriminate. 

So, is my judgement fair about the above described situation? Did/do those people lack compassion? Some of those travelers might not have been able to go on holiday due to previous Covid restrictions, or had to work hard and save up long. And of course, I do understand the need for people to relax in a different environment. To travel and experience new adventures, creating new memories.

It is a matter of perspectives. There is just not always a right or wrong side to assign. All we can do is to not use our judgmental conscious part as an excuse. We have to keep on trying to judge with compassion and kindness, try to make sure our judgements are fair. That doesn’t mean we have to condone everything, or even like everyone. To me it means, accepting we are one species consisting of very different individuals.

Whether we like it or not: we all judge, let’s accept it ; -)

Since I love to Connect, also for the purpose to learn from each others perspectives, do share below your thoughts on our judgmental side!

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5 Responses

  1. It’s natural to judge. Our values either align or they differ. It seems to come down to how objective we can be with our judgements. I have had to sit in judgement many times over the years regarding different matters. In these instances, it didn’t matter what I thought as I was required to apply the rules of natural justice (which I believe in very strongly).

    I am certainly in the camp that these people should have headed home. We have been in similar situations and followed the travel directions. Which is return home and reschedule accordingly.

    A few years ago, as the CEO at a particular local government we had an extensive flood that cut off the northern part of the Shire. As Murphy’s Law would have it, we had just resurfaced an extensive piece of road (500 m) through a flood way. I went it to have a look because as it’s a key through way in Western Australia when travelling to a key tourist destination about 150 kms away from where we were at the time. If you can’t get through this floodway, then it’s a 750 kms to loop around one way or 1,250 kms to loop around the other.

    The floodway was under 5 metres of water. With the new bitumen, bubbles were coming up everywhere. That is a clear sign that the new surface is lifting straight off the floor. By the time I had finished the inspection, there were, perhaps 12 vehicles behind us with very anxious drivers and passengers. They got out of their cars and asked about getting through. I told them what their options were and it would be a week or more before the river subsided with the road, probably, beyond use. The response – not happy. And they shot the messenger (At least they had the big kahuna there 😂) I advised them they needed to turn around immediately so my road crews could start putting the detour signs out and gearing up for the remedial works.

    1. Hi dear Sean,
      As they say, true nature of people reveal in crises. Or something like that. And now, also a human thing, people are looking for scapegoats. Or, like in your experience, shoot the messenger.
      On a philosophical note: are we able to truly be objective?
      Thanks for sharing your story and will visit your virtual home soon again 🙂

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Over a decade, I write and create, developing my virtual home into what it is today. Connecting on a global scale, aiming to inspire YOU to Connect. To Life, to Others, to Yourself.

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Acknowledging and embracing our differences, using them as strength to build meaningful Connections and a world upon which we can all thrive.

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