What a roller coaster the past year has been. On a personal and global level. Jeeeeeez! Like on many occasions in the past, I dreaded the holiday season again. Ironically, because I love to Connect and I believe Connection is the best present in many ways!
Living in the present, in the now, enjoying the moment, has been often difficult for me. When it comes to Connection, I always seemed to disConnect driven by the past. Sometimes not by choice when a beloved one died, or I did make the choice myself to disConnect after thoroughly considering the value of a specific Connection. More often, however, I was triggered by thoughts still Connected to previous emotions.
It resulted in starting to resent traditions, many years ago. Thinking about the holidays always Connected to stress and egotistical expectations. In addition, people around me, and around the world, seemed to value presents more than the gift of Connection in itself. The sparkling joy of a child opening their presents, even if it is just a banana, has been, and still is, overshadowed by the pressure we put on each other.
Ironically, what I believe is one of our three most important goals and activities in life, Connection, I found myself dreading more and more. Being a Master Coach, I gathered knowledge and many tools to prevent this from happening and still… Jeeeeeez! Connecting, even during the holidays, started to feel as an obligation, a must and no longer fun at all.
Compassion fatigue, fatalism, depression are labels I started to put on myself. I’ve gone through the emotions as grief, anxiety and anger, fear, excitement, joy and love, etc. The last couple of years, and even more honestly, the almost fifty-one years I’m present on this earth, have been a rollercoaster. Putting just one word on this; exhaustion. That’s what I felt. Body, mind and soul.
Yes, I know, life is just one big roller coaster, so I’m not the only one going through ups and downs. And as a Master Coach, also as a human being, I don’t like labels. It is too easy to identify another, or yourself as being the label. Yet again, I had started to do what most in the guidance industry are doing. Even worse, I started to view myself as an exhausted, depressed, compassion fatigued person. Holy moly. What the eek happened to me?
The moment you don’t recognize yourself, it is high time to make new choices. Drastic ones, uncompromising ones. However, the tools we have available to decide how to tackle experiences in life and deal with our emotions are not always helpful. The perfect way just does not exist. To me, most approaches are too general. Hence, I normally seek for the methods that fit the unique human being I am.
Sometimes you need to be brutally honest to yourself. disConnections happened in the past are often due to matters outside of ones’ control. Thoughts, leading to emotions, are just that. Thoughts. They don’t define you. You always have a choice. You can choose how you want to live in the here and now, how to be in the future, how (and when) to Connect.
I needed the reminder that traditions are not necessarily wrong (except when they cause intentionally harm) and that I get to choose how to go about them. Many of us set new goals for the upcoming year, the traditional new year resolutions, I am no exception.
However, in an attempt to break a recurring pattern and to be able to sparkle again, I decided to gift myself in addition to setting goals the most valuable present I can think of: Connecting to Life, Others and Myself…
In the present.
Wishing you all an inspiring, sparkling, full of wonderful Connections, 2023 !
Let´s Connect ! What are your goals, resolutions and or challenges for this year?