Many people will have reflected upon previous year, made new year resolutions and/or decided for another reason they need change. Individually or collectively. This month, the Skilled Helpers Collaborative share their individual perspectives regarding the topic Change…
The Skilled Helpers Collaborative
The Skilled Helpers Collaborative is an initiative aiming to bring meaningful content to you. Various skilled helpers from different backgrounds sharing their perspectives regarding a specific topic. They don’t get to read each other’s contribution before publication and thus don’t influence each other to make sure, you as a reader can enjoy a variety of insights.
Do you feel you need (a) change? Is it inevitable? Is it within your control? Do you even know what it is, you want to change? Should you? We hope this month’s chosen topic, and the insights provided, inspire you to Change.
Or not ; -)
Read the articles below and if it resonates, let us know by leaving a comment.
Don’t hesitate to Connect with one of the Skilled Helpers, in case you could use guidance.
Enjoy your weekend !
Patty Wolters – Skilled Helper – www.pattywolters.com
Change
by Bernard Kates
It has been said that the only constant in life is change.
I would say that the most important part of that sentence is the final three words.
Life is change. That’s been a undeniable fact since a bunch of bored, over-ambitious molecules got together in the primordial soup of a sun-baked, lightning-blasted pond on the young Earth and decided to live a little. One thing led to another and the process of Darwinian evolution has brought the appearance of more, and more complex, life forms. At the pinnacle of this vast tree of life we sit gazing smugly down, confident that we occupy our rightful place at the top of the food chain.
But complacency isn’t wise. Always and inevitably, change goes on around us. The Earth continues on its annual pilgrimage around the Sun. Tides ebb and flow. Day becomes night, becomes day again. Spring turns to summer, becomes autumn, morphs into winter and round again to spring. The passage of time is a fact of life, bringing change whether we want it or not, whether we like it or not.
One could be tempted to take a nihilistic view of this: I’m born, I live my brief life and then I die, and what’s the point of any of it? I didn’t ask to be born, yet here I am seemingly on an ever-accelerating trajectory to oblivion. On the way I get to experience a bit of existential angst and then that’s it, the show’s over, lights out, thank you and good night.
That will be my depressing view of life if my prevailing attitude – my mindset – is to believe that I’m a helpless victim, that I have no choice but to roll with the punches life doles out to me, and that I have little or no control over my own destiny.
It’s better, I believe, to reject that kind of helplessness and to assert some control over my life. I do that by accepting responsibility for myself and for the choices I make, the decisions I take and for the outcomes I achieve. If I don’t want my life to be a pointless struggle from the cradle to the grave then it’s up to me to make it different, to find my purpose and to live a meaningful life by working to achieve that purpose.
I know that change is inevitable in life. I’ve learned that the way to deal with it is to become an agent of change: to not only welcome change but to initiate it. I know that any time I start to get comfortable, life is sure to come along and give me a wake-up kick in the backside. And so I’ve learned not to wait for opportunities to come knocking on my door, but to fully engage with life so as to create opportunities that will help me to learn, to grow, and to move closer to achieving my life’s purpose.
Change is not my enemy. Throughout my life, change, very often initiated by me, has been my route to learning, to personal and professional growth, and to living a fulfilled life. Sure enough there have been some changes that I didn’t choose and that at the time I would have called “bad,” but with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight I can now say that even those changes took me closer to where I needed to be in my life. Not necessarily closer to where I wanted to be, but to where I needed to be. Those are not always the same thing!
From experience I would say this: you can’t avoid change no matter how desperately you cling to the status quo. Therefore, if you don’t want to be a helpless victim of circumstance, tossed around like a cork in a stormy sea, you must embrace and initiate change. Constantly ask, “what’s new? What’s better? What’s next?” And when life brings you a change that you didn’t expect, look for the opportunities hidden within it and then fearlessly exploit them.
Acceptance of and openness to change is a mindset attribute. It requires you to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, to understand that stasis leads to stagnation and to accept that you, and only you, are responsible for the choices that you make. That includes the way you choose to feel about, and to respond to, the curve-balls that life throws you.
Are you a helpless victim, blaming everything and everyone except yourself for all that isn’t perfect in your life and waiting with increasing desperation for someone to come and rescue you? Or are you a proactive, can-do, “no problems around here, only solutions” kind of person with a keen sense of purpose and the courage and determination to succeed no matter what? It’s your call. Just remember this: if your mindset is negative, pessimistic and/or nihilistic and you wish there was more to life – and more to you – than this, there is one thing you can change right now.
You can change your mind.
Connect with Bernard Kates, Transformational Leadership Coach and Mentor @ www.bernardkates.com
Metamorphosis: Navigating the Dance of Change
by Michelle Wiseman
Change, the constant companion on our life’s journey, invites us into a dance of evolution. As I reflect on this labyrinthine choreography, I am inspired to share my ponderings on how I perceive the nature of change – not as a sage with profound answers, I’m a fellow wanderer, with my loyal backpack of experiences and tools, often stumbling through life’s unpredictable rhythms.
It is a constant!
Within the fabric of life’s canvas, change is the vibrant thread that weaves through every moment. Can we embrace change like a dance partner, noticing its presence without judgement, holding it lightly, like a partner in a dance? It’s a dance that requires the willingness to move with the rhythm of life.
The puzzle of familiarity:
It’s intriguing how what once felt secure can become a stagnant pond, hindering our evolution. Change beckons us to step into the unknown, to embrace discomfort as the threshold to new possibilities.
In my journey, I’ve discovered that magic lies just beyond the edge of familiarity.
Picture a rebel butterfly, refusing the safety of its cocoon – metamorphosis demands a rebellious flight into uncertainty.
Navigating the gentle currents of change:
Change isn’t always met with open arms; sometimes, resistance emerges like waves crashing against the shore. Can we acknowledge resistance as a fellow dancer in the performance, holding its presence lightly and experimenting with the fluidity of flexibility? Imagine acknowledging and exploring the source of resistance, treating it as a subtle guide offering insights into our fears and insecurities. As Carl Jung once mused, “What you resist persists.” Embracing change becomes a delicate process, calling for compassion, both for oneself and others, as we gracefully navigate the waves.
This too shall pass:
Buddhist philosophy, in its quiet wisdom, encapsulates change through the concept of impermanence. The recognition that everything is in a constant state of flux invites us to savour the present moment. Can we weave this understanding into our perspective, letting impermanence gently guide us toward a more mindful, present approach to life? Like learning the steps of a dance – being fully present in each movement, appreciating the beauty of the dance itself.
Embracing the chaos:
Change isn’t always a graceful ballet; it can be messy, challenging, and unpredictable. In those moments, let’s illuminate the path with the soft glow of self-compassion. Envision the dance of change as a partner who occasionally steps on your toes. Instead of harsh self-judgement, can we extend the hand of self-compassion? A gentle reminder that we’re all imperfect dancers on this shared journey, learning as we go.
Connecting the Cosmic Dots:
Change, I’ve come to realise, is not a series of isolated events but a continuous, interconnected dance. Each step, each shift, contributes to the evolving narrative of our lives. Can we trace the constellations, discern the patterns, and find meaning in this intricate dance?
A Pause for Contemplation:
As we plunge into the wild dance of change, I invite you to navigate its twists and turns with courage, compassion, and a spirit of curiosity, knowing that in every step, you are creating the masterpiece of our lives.
How has it shaped you? Please share your thoughts, if you feel inclined, for in this shared exploration, our collective dance becomes a subtle celebration of evolution and wisdom. Together, let’s continue to weave the tapestry of our individual and collective journeys.
Connect with Michelle Wiseman, Life Coach | English Language Teacher | Mentor @ shellywise72@gmail.com
Change is for the better?
by Patty Wolters
There is this universal quote: “Change is inevitable”. I find myself pondering a lot about this quote. Some processes in life don’t change unless the circumstances do. As far as I know, the globe we live upon will continue to turn. A seed, in the right environment, will grow to become grass, a flower, a tree. The tree will adjust, align itself according to the change of seasons. The universal core processes will remain the same.
As human beings, we often think we must choose making a change to be able to thrive (again). Is change always for the better? What about those who live peacefully decades in the same house, stay in a loving relationship with the same person for 30 plus years, enjoy one job until their retirement? Do they miss out on something?
Hence, while it is human nature to be curious, enabling us to keep on evolving, I doubt every change is for the better. For sure, when life gets complicated it could be a solution to make a change. At times, even a necessity. I do worry, however, some of us choose to change in an area of life because it is easier. Or because society pushes us to make a change. Preferring to stay in your comfort zone has almost become unacceptable.
Current society seems to want changes at many levels. Past ideas, systems, traditions are constantly questioned. Unfortunately, the need for change often becomes so high, it is not about change for the better. Sometimes, as much as we would like to, we can’t even make a change due to lack of resources or being captured literally against our will.
These days, free will has become a privilege, no longer the precious gift at birth. Freedom of choice, no longer the human right as it was.
Thinking of the tree; it can’t pick itself up and walk away to a warmer climate, because it doesn’t like the winter season. It adapts, doing its best to survive and grow regardless of the circumstances.
When all is aligned, nature just is.
We humans tend to panic, feel overwhelmed, become anxious, stressed by the idea of change. When forced to change – or prevented to – against our will, I can totally understand those emotions. In that case, changes must be made. Either individually, or at global level.
On any other occasion, choose wisely before making any changes. Be curious, choose, adapt.
When all is aligned, just be.
Connect with Patty Wolters, Blogger | Master (Life) Coach @ www.pattywolters.com
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