Today is World Mental Health Day. In 2017, I created a compilation together with various Beautiful Souls to raise awareness for depression. Find below an updated compilation and know: You are NOT alone!
Depression
This poem my dear friend Manuel and I created in 2016. We both know the feeling everything seems senseless very well and how important it can be to go forward second by second, minute by minute, step by step:
******
The incapacity to continue living was growing
The WILL to continue the never-ending battle was slowing.
The gloomy haze was clouding my judgment
I felt ready to face my final judgment.
The thought was getting stronger
I couldn’t stop the urge any longer.
Looking down at the people below
No longer grasping their flow
On top of this roof I felt so cold
An emptiness nobody told
Could ever overwhelm
My core, my soul
Lost without a goal
ready to leave the realm
Complex questions started to possess my understanding
Looking down on them, I didn’t understand
“Why I feel this way and they did not?
Why are my thoughts and emotions full of knots?
Do they feel like I do now?
Do they have the courage to end it all, like I?”
So now I cry.
Through my tears the crowd became undefinable
The pain, the loneness undeniable
“Is it courage to end it all?
Will I feel enlightened during my fall?”
The sun and moon exchanged light
Surrounded by darkness and silence
My Inner-Child screaming to fight
“Bravery comes with reliance!”
Dare I to trust?
“Come to us, in here you will no longer crawl.”
The torment of their offerings were tempting my soul
I was getting determined to jump.
“Wait,” a soft childish voice said
“I hurt too, but I endure.”
I looked everywhere, but nobody was there
I realized the voice was coming from within.
My skin tingled, my feet started to move away
Away from the edge of the roof
still yearning for proof
I could hear my heart beating
“Was my Inner-Child cheating?
Should I come back another day?”
Moonlight fading, the soft voice became stronger
With the rising of the sun the desire no longer
to end it all, my soul hurting still
hope aroused slightly, so I WILL
again try to fight
At least until
the next night
******
Manuel & Patty
A Beautiful Soul, artist and transformation coach created an amazing piece of art for this compilation…
“Mental Health Awareness is around the corner and Patty asked me to Create an Art Piece.
I’ve had experience with Depression myself and I felt Called to Create an Image for this.
I used an old bend canvas with lots of old dark and black colours, damaged, even bare and raw.
That was my start (getting the energy right) (playing sad dark playlist on Spotify) on this creative journey.
I remembered when I was suffering from depression I was so very scared of dark and black pulling me down,
into that heavy state of depression. Hence the Crow-like Bird, I wanted him heavy and actually a bit innocent
and naïve looking. I didn’t know back then how much power I had, I thought Depression was just happening
to me. I was unknowing. The words Scarcity, Fear, Angst, Emotions, Thoughts, Resistance are around the Crow.
First I wanted a Dove 
embracing the Crow for Safety and Peace. Then I remembered that I wasn’t able to experience…. Peace or Safety back then even if I would have been completely surrounded by it. So I thought
what did get out of the reoccurring dark periods. Even though it was so obvious…. it took me a moment to
see the link 
and I’ve got a Phoenix as a tattoo, my talisman why didn’t I immediately see it 
it’s transformation…..a new way of thinking ….processing …..feeling…..more (de)serving to me and only me and
my unique being …. that is what got me out of it. The words Abundance, Love, Surrender, Release, Passion, Transformation are in the feathers of the Phoenix/Chicken, my Artist friend Mike Loch said it looks more like a chicken than a Phoenix and I thought it was so fun and creative to see it like that. “Even a Chicken can become a Phoenix” I think that resonated a lot with me 
well. It was a very inspiring and healing Creative Process to make this piece, with lots of insights and being truly connected to my intuition and Flow.”
“If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces,
never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again”.
Flavia Weedn
For Pax et Dolor Magazine I wrote an article about Depression, in the hope it will inspire you to connect with just anyone and share your feelings. Since then, February 2017, I have kept educating myself more about this subject. Knowledge, build upon the knowledge of others, in combination with my own experiences resulted in an updated version of the original article:
The sun and moon switch in the sky, every morning, every night. You, however, don’t want to get up, or you stare at the ceiling unable to fall asleep. The weather girl telling you another day without the sun is ahead of you, or you long for a long cold winter to numb your feelings. The love of your life no longer feels the same way about you. You got fired, you lost your house. Maybe, your physical health prohibits you from following your dreams. So many reasons why a person can get depressed.
Are you really depressed?
Every now and then, you feel down, don’t want to get up, or you get moody watching the weather girl, that doesn’t automatically mean you are depressed. Every human being has his/her ‘bad days’. I call that being depri, it is a Dutch abbreviation from depressie (depression). Taking a sick day, watching a movie and eating your favorite snacks, will make you feel better.
Do you feel gloomy every day, see only dark colors in your future? Feel like sleeping all day long, or aren’t able to sleep at all? Feel the need to eat constantly, or don’t have any desire to eat? Thoughts like “Why even bother, I will never feel happiness again” and maybe even “I just want to die?”
When you recognize all described feelings and situations and if they are applicable to you (almost) every day and for longer than two weeks in a row … Depression could be the reason why you feel stuck. Stuck in those painful emotions and thoughts. Overwhelmed by feelings of being alone and nobody understanding you.
You know you are depressed for sure?
Let me tell you… No… Let me reassure you: you are not the only one! I am a person who has to be aware of not becoming overwhelmed with sad and negative thoughts about the world around me and about myself. It took me a while to accept, that not everyone will understand me, or get what is important to me. That isn’t easy and feeling alone, in this world full of beautiful souls, well…that happens to me too.
If you become depressed once, you most likely will have to be aware of depression throughout your life. Now, that isn’t very hopeful, is it? That is why I wanted to write this article. To let you know, there IS hope. There really is!
Taking back control
You could go to a doctor, psychologist, therapist and if you google, you will find all the necessary information you need to educate yourself and where you can find the support suitable for you. Did you know, for instance, food is also a big influence on how you feel? You don’t need to become the next famous bodybuilder; however, exercise can be helpful too.
Taking back control is about looking at your own responsibility for your own life. No, we can’t control everything. However, we can choose how to deal with a challenge. Life is an ongoing process, change inevitable and most importantly to remember: the perfect way does not exist. Could it be possible, you can move beyond depression and, just like everyone else, only have depri moments once in a while? I did. A human being, no superhero, just like you.
Feelings and thoughts
Taking that first step, the first step back up that negative spiral, might feel impossible. Reaching out to another person, ignoring those feelings of shame or being unworthy might seem too big of a step to take. Have you ever considered it is all about that: feelings and thoughts? You probably don’t even trust yourself anymore, and now I tell you to trust another soul?
Yes, I do. Because you know what? You have nothing left to lose…
Right?
Need to talk to someone ASAP? Visit this site: IASP
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