In this week’s Connection Letter, I share my view on grief; how loss is an inescapable part of life, why we cannot ignore the reality of loss, and how honoring the voids left behind protects our connections…
Good morning, good afternoon, good evening!
Let’s dive into a topic that touches every single one of us, yet one we often try to hide or look away from: Grief.
Losing something or someone is an inevitable, inescapable part of life. When we hear the word grief, we often think of the finality of death; losing a loved one, a cherished pet, or a precious item. But grief runs much deeper than that. We also experience a profound sense of grief for what is not, or what is no longer possible.
It is the lingering pain of mourning a future you deeply dreamt of that can no longer come true, a job that came to an end, or a relationship where being together is no longer possible.
Grief is not a malfunction. It is a vital part of the Connection Journey we are all on, as human beings being human.
Personally, I often return to existential well-being principles, which point out a fundamental truth: we cannot create unique, yet healthy connections if we deny the reality of suffering, limitation, and decay in life. In our modern world, off- and online, we are constantly bombarded with messages telling us to “fix it,” “move on,” or look on the bright side.
But creating Connections to Life, Others and Yourself means looking also at the dark seasons of life. To love deeply, to connect honestly, and to live fully means that we will eventually face the pain of letting go.
Let's dive deeper...
When we experience loss, our entire connection system goes into shock. A space that was once filled with a person, a dream, a routine, or a role is suddenly empty. The temptation is to rush in and fill that void with noise, distraction, or forced positivity just to escape the discomfort.
But just like I realized when looking at our down-to-earth boundaries of realism last week, we cannot force reality to bend to our wishes. Time moves forward, things decay, and situations change. It happens in nature all the time and since we are part of nature; it will happen for us too.
Perhaps you’ve experienced it too… In an automatic reflex wanting to call a beloved one to share great news, or tearing up watching someone in a movie losing their dog. (Why I try to avoid such films having a dog being part of my household).
However, acknowledging our grief means sitting at the table, looking at the empty space, and allowing it to hurt without trying to analyze our way out of it.
Let’s give ourselves permission to grieve, whether it is for a loved one who passed away or a version of our lives that has ended: honor the depth of the Connection that once was. If we accomplish this, we will become much more gentle with our own uniqueness and gain an empathetic understanding to the silent struggles of the neighbors walking alongside us.
Connection Scan:
Before you close this letter, I invite you into a 60-second exploration.
- Identify (The Scan): Think of someone or something you deeply cared for (a person, a pet, a plant, a project) and you lost connection, for whatever reason that might be.
- Create (The Connect): Acknowledge the loss by acknowledging the emotions attached to it. Say what you have lost out loud. Sit with the anger, the guilt, the grief, or any other emotion you feel emerging.
- Choice (The disConnect): Write down the emotion(s) you no longer want to feel. Choose to accept it was either out of your control, or that you have a choice how to feel about the loss.
Take a breath, put your hand over your heart or perhaps light a candle. Look honestly at your current reality. Are you carrying the heavy weight of an unacknowledged loss? Are you fighting against what is no longer possible, instead of allowing yourself to mourn it?
It is entirely okay to feel the pain of loss and change. Grief is part of Life.
Sending a big hug,
Patty
PS: A note on availability. Spring and Summer are the busiest months for me personally; I do remain available for those who need a bit of one-on-one reflection. To ensure I can give my full attention and presence to each person, I am limiting these letter requests to two people per week:
- The Soul Letter: For finding clarity and reclaiming your uniqueness through a written exchange.
SOUL LETTER
- Soul Support: A safe, non-judgmental space for when your struggles feel too heavy to carry alone.
SOUL SUPPORT
If the week is full, I will let you know and we can look at the next.
